


Always

by Clexa0216



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a true story.., Eventual Smut, F/F, Friends to Lovers, i hate this plot but its cathartic honestly, minor cheating..kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-12 12:25:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11161791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clexa0216/pseuds/Clexa0216
Summary: Clarke and Lexa are besties unaware of their own feelings for one another. Will they ever make it through all the obstacles and relationships in the way before they find each other?





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic since i am essentially practicing my writing. the plot of this story is special to me but i would love it if you guys, whom continue to read, would leave me comments on anything and everything. good bad, on the plot, their reaction, my writing. i will take none of it personally, but i will later divulge why i would appreciate comments. thanks! (also i will be updating quite frequently).

Chapter One

Lexa could hardly contain the groan that was threatening to escape as she approached Clarke's house. It was Friday night and she wanted nothing more than to be curled up in a blanket, reading a book and drinking some tea but her damn best friend was forcing her to interact with more people than necessary. Lexa was perfectly content with the people she'd allowed herself to be surrounded with. 

Clarke and Lexa have been best friends for a little over two years now since they met in 10th grade. The girl had come to have a special place in Lexa's heart so quickly and she didn't know how that came to be. They were the complete opposites, where Lexa was - as Clarke called it - a broody quiet chick, a closed book, Clarke was bright and sunny, never afraid to express herself - the damn artist indeed had quite a lot of friends. Who didn't want to be around Clarke really? 

Turning onto her street, she could begin to hear the cacophony of loud music and teenagers and laughing and just socializing, the thing Lexa tried to do least. Lexa cringed slightly and approached the door reluctantly, cursing herself for allowing her best friend to threaten her into coming to tonight's gathering. She always felt some of Clarke's friends didn't like her ever since they were spending more and more time together since their Powderpuff days a year ago.

She was about to knock on the door when it cracked wide open as a brunette-haired girl stopped dead on her tracks and eyed Lexa head to toe. 

"Griffin, your girl is here," she yelled over the music. "and she's looking mighty fine too." she said with a smirk. 

"Oh shut it Raven, you'll scare her away. I practically had to beg her to come tonight" Lexa heard Clarke say as she approached from behind, sighing in relief at her best friend saving her from any awkward encounter. Clarke moved past Raven, grabbing Lexa's arm and dragging her inside. She threw her arms across Lexa's neck as Lexa's wrapped around her waist, her eyes subtly trying to identify just how many people she was being forced to talk to today.

Clarke pulled away, eyeing Lexa's outfit. She wore tight black jeans, a white tank that clung to her chest nicely and a black leather jacket over it. "Hoping to get laid tonight with one of my friends or what, Woods," she said with a smirk. "I'm wearing a damn band tee shirt and jeans and you're over her looking like a stud for a casual gathering." she clicked her tongue and slightly shook her head.

Lexa rolled her eyes, "I am not here for any of that, Clarke. I merely came for you since you threatened to suffocate me in my sleep the next time you slept over. I happen to appreciate my life", She grimaced slightly, "somewhat." Clarke gave her a soft smile, knowing damn well Lexa was the type to joke about things like that, yet somehow mean it. “But if the opportunity presents itself, I will not deny the myself the pleasure” Lexa continued with a smirk.

"And I will if you test me. Come on, Woods. Stop being a broody ass, I want you and the delinquents to bond. There's a few others here, they seem okay but I’ve only just met them." She gauged Lexa's reaction at the mention of more people but Lexa remained stoic and gave her a curt nod and a small smile to ease Clarke’s tensions. 

Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand and led Lexa to the backyard. In the middle was a long table filled with bottles of beer and a few plates of chips. To the left, was another table filled with what seemed to be every type of liquor possible and next to it a mini black mini bar that Clarke's parents had bought a few years ago. There were fairy lights adorning the backyards fences that helped illuminate the night. Two large heater lamps on two separate corners to keep the people, who were spread out everywhere talking amongst themselves, somewhat warm. Lexa let out a small sigh thankful that the heaters, which she silently hoped for since it was a chilly July night, were in a corner, allowing her to be broody and quiet on the side.

"Clarke,” she said turning to look at her, “you said this was a small gathering of just us and the delinquents." she frowned slightly. "I didn't agree to socialize this much with this number of people."

"Oh come on Woods, look, Lincoln and Octavia are here! I told you, you could invite Anya as well, plus. I’m here, I’m all you need," she scoffed, the lightness in the joke was there.

Lexa smiled briefly, "Anya said and I quote 'over my dead body am I going to associate with those people, I'd rather chew on broken glass' but really I think she was trying to avoid Raven", she gave her a forlornly look, "I'm afraid you've become friends with a broody person who has even more broody friends". 

"I love you regardless, come, let us drink" she gave her a wink and pulled her to the mini bar.

"It would be my pleasure,’ replied Lexa with a smirk, ever so amenable to her best friend.

Lexa eyed the crowd while Clarke poured two shots of tequila. To the opposite corner was Lincoln behind Octavia with his arms wrapped around her waist languidly as she enthusiastically spoke with Raven and another boy that Lexa remembered as Jasper. Lexa felt weird being around Clarke's group of friends, especially Octavia. She always seemed so distrustful of Lexa, but they had mutual friends and were constantly around each other since Clarke was their mutual best friend and Lincoln was Anya's cousin. It was essentially inevitable but they were respectful enough towards each other, for the most part they simply chose to not speak to each other unless necessary. 

Turning her attention back to Clarke, Clarke pushed the shot into her hand and arched an eyebrow, "I expect us both to be drunk as shit, got it? My parents are gone and I fully intend to take advantage of that." Her eyes flew to the boy standing next to another girl Lexa recalled as Harper. Knowing exactly what this night would lead to she gave a small roll of her eyes, but smirked at Clarke.

"Then I'll be taking advantage too"

They downed their shots and took a few beers with them as they approached Octavia, Lincoln, and Raven who were listening intently at what Raven was talking about. They abruptly stopped as Clarke approached before Raven enveloped her into a one-armed hug.

"Griffin! Woods! About time, it’s not a party 'till Griffin here is drunk," She said poking one of Clarke's ribs as she took a swig of her beer. 

Lexa chanced a glance at Lincoln who simultaneously gave her a nod. "Lincoln"

"Lexa." His tone soft for the bulky handsome man. "I see Clarke has forced you out of your cave."

"Unfortunately." She said, as Clarke's hand flew to smack her arm playfully. Lexa gave her a small smile and Clarke pulled off Raven. 

"Listen Reyes, I'd love to stay and chat but I need to get laid so, I'll be back," Turning to leave, Clarke reached up and gave Lexa a kiss on the cheek before walking away. "You better not leave Lexa I swear"

"Scouts honor I will try to stay, promise" Clarke held eye contact, searching her eyes until she felt satisfied with what she saw. "I'll be back", as she turned towards the boy from earlier who was giving her a flirty smile.

Clarke had already been talking to this boy for a while now, but Lexa hadn't asked her about it. She wasn't one to pry for information, if Clarke wanted to tell her, she would. She kept her eye on Clarke as she was talking to the boy, noticing every little detail - the way Clarke smiled flirtatiously, the way she subtlety touched him as he fell in deeper and deeper into what she was coaxing him for. She rolled her eyes, as she attempted to simmer the small irritation. Clarke seriously made her leave the comfort of her room to be basically ignored for a boy. 

A subtle clearing of Lincoln's throat interrupted Lexa's ruminations and wishes of having stayed home.

"You don't want to be here huh?" 

"Nope," She said with an exaggerating popping of the p sound as she kept her eyes on Clarke. Clarke who was being led into the house by the boy. If Lincoln noticed the intense guarding of Clarke's actions, he didn't comment on it. It was a normal thing with how protective Clarke and Lexa could often be with one another. 

"I promised her I'd stay. Might as well make it worth my while." She said gulping down her drink before setting it on a table and making her way to one of the girls by the mini bar.

Octavia had her head leaning on Lincoln's chest as she quietly scoffed at Lexa's remark. "Honestly."

"What?" replied Lincoln as he kissed her head.

"I don't trust her." she pulled away to look at his face, "the way she looks at Clarke, but throws herself at whatever girl is willing... I don't like it. She's going to hurt Clarke."

"Lexa's been through a lot, O. She's a good person, and honestly ever since Clarke and her became friends. She's different, happier really - even if she still deals with all that Costia drama." 

"No, I don't know if Clarke and Lexa are oblivious to their feelings for one another but this is going to go bad. I just know, Lincoln," she pressed her head back into his neck, "How about you and I get out of here as well since the whole damn world is getting laid."

He smiled and let go of her waist, only to reach down and pull one hand and lead her to the car back to his apartment. "Let’s go."

********************************************

It was 1:39am and here Lexa was, sweaty and hot from her recent actions laying in an awkward position in the backseat of her black Lexus. She pulled back to look at the girl as she languidly kissed her clavicle and Lexa hummed in approval. 

"I'd love to make you come again and again but unfortunately, I've got to head back to the party before they find my body in a trash bin tomorrow," She said as the girl giggled.

"I get it," said the girl as she sat up on Lexa's body. They disentangled themselves and awkwardly put on their clothes from the lack of space in Lexa's car. When they were done, Lexa kissed the girl one last time before getting off, both heading back to the party, sweaty with their clothes disheveled and a few marks on the girl. As soon as they arrived, the girl and her went their separate ways. Lexa just shrugged, she was used to this casual thing she had going on.

She eyed the crowd noticing far less people, Clarke had yet to come out. Unsure if she should go inside the house or not, she chose a corner next to a heater and pulled up a chair to sit before Raven towered over her and glowered at her. "I'm onto you Woods."

"Uh. What are you talking about?"

"I'm surprised you and Clarke haven't fucked. But guessing by your appearance I'm assuming you're keeping yourself busy in the meantime." Said Raven in such a nonchalant tone that caused Lexa to roll her eyes. She plopped next to a chair to the right of Lexa and leaned back with a slight smirk. Evidently, raven loved trying to get into Lexa’s head by picking at her. 

Lexa bristled slightly at that, but being a professional at stoicism, managed to maintain composure as she raised her eyes to meet Ravens. 

"I do not understand Clarke's friends incessant need to prove that I’m trying to get into Clarkes pants.” Scoffed Lexa as she leaned back to pour herself and Raven some shots. “Clarke is my best friend; I can’t do that to her.”

Ever since Clarke and Lexa became friends, there has always been accusations that Clarke and her share chemistry. That they probably became friends after messing around. Even at school, people thought they were dating until they saw Clarke with whatever boy she was dating. For the most part, it was quite funny. They didn’t fight it and chose to let people think whatever they wanted. 

“Right,” retorted Raven with a slight raise of the eyebrow as she took the shot that Lexa poured her. “Griffin has the hots for Atom over there but he’s just bad business, I know boys like that.”

“And that’s exactly why men disgust me,” mumbled Lexa, “They don’t appreciate the female and her intellect, her body and just how sweet –”

“Okay Woods, got it! I agree, I mean… look at what Finn did to me and Clarke.” She cut her off as she downed the shot. “I forgave Clarke because really it wasn’t her fault so technically I shouldn’t have even had to forgive her but I moved past it. She didn’t know about me and I’m okay with her if she wants Finn after what happened, but I just wouldn’t be able to be around them at the same time.” She said softly.

“You know, Anya is –” started Lexa, hoping to deflect the conversation from Finn as the anger at just mentioning his name started to fill her body.

“Nope,” Said Raven with a shake of her head as she leaned back towards the mini bar to pour two more shots, “you know, Clarke isn’t the only one who pays attention to the little details. You always deflect the conversation when it leads to Finn and Clarke.”

“Because I refuse to talk about garbage people,” snapped Lexa as she took Raven’s shot from her hand and downed it before continuing, “I can’t stand the thought of shitty people not understanding what the hell they have in front of them and just them not appreciating it. She’s special. She didn’t deserve that.” Lexa was seething at this point. She hated bringing up finn, hated how he it hurt Clarke. She might even say she hated how it hurt raven as well. She and Lexa had started to become closer ever since they met, the only one aside from Anya and Clarke. “No one is good enough for Clarke.” She said softly with a shake of her head.

“Gee thanks for thinking about me as well Woods,” muttered Raven with a small smile.

Lexa pinned her with a look, “He does not deserve you either, Reyes. You’re too good for him too,” she said earnestly, allowing herself to give Raven a small soft smile. “He does not know the value of you both.”

“Yeah yeah, anyways, how do you feel about Atom?” probed Raven.

“Don’t like him, somethings off” sighed Lexa as she pulled her phone to check the time. 2:15am and Clarke still wasn’t out. “You know what, tell Clarke when she’s done, she’ll know where to find me. I only came her for her and quite honestly I don’t know why I came since I was supposed to be with her while I bond with you people.”

“You don’t need Clarke to associate with us you know” deadpanned Raven.

“Yeah but I sure as hell need her since I’m only doing this for her since A) most of you don’t like me and B) I’d only be talking to you guys because of her”. Lexa has never been good at having friend or even making them. Her parents had moved her school after school ever since elementary school, high school being her final stop where she fortunately met Clarke in the tenth grade. 

“I guess you’re right, damn Woods, you really are broody as fuck” she threw her head back in a slight chuckler, taking a poke at Lexa’s ribs but Lexa remained stoic as ever.

“Listen, I’m going home, tell Clarke I’ll just see her later today” mumbled Lexa as she stood up abruptly and wrapped her arms across her torso. The temperature dropped a few degrees within the last few hours that Lexa was about to start shivering from the lack of movement. She headed out the side gate back to her car before waving at Raven, “See you Reyes”

“Deuces,” sighed Raven as she leaned back into her seat right as Clarke walked out of her house with Atom at her side, clearly sweaty from their activities. She kissed him goodbye as he headed for the gate. Clarke sighed as she looked up into the sky before shutting her eyes briefly. When she felt relaxed enough, she plopped down next to raven where Lexa had just been sitting a few minutes ago and sighed again.”

“Lexa just left. She got tired of waiting for you,” said Raven taking another swig of her beer. Clarke perked up as her eyes started scanning the room looking for any sign of Lexa. When she couldn’t find her, Clarke groaned knowing full on Lexa would be mad for abandoning her.

“You, uh, took your time. Everything good with atom?” probed Raven, as Clarke looked back at her with a sheepish smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“He’s great,” she sighed, “I haven’t told Lexa I’m dating him officially, I mean she knows, its too obvious, but I don’t know.” Clarke pulled out her phone and shot a text to Lexa telling her she was going over later today. Noticing she had a few messages, she checked her inbox to see a few from her mom and Finn. Her heart slowed a bit as she saw his message telling her he misses her before she locked it and put it away. “It hasn’t come up; I don’t think she wants to talk about it really after that whole Finn situation.” She chanced a sideways glance at Raven to gauge her reaction.

“I can feel you probing me for a reaction Griffin. If you’re going to probe I have more fun ways of you doing so,” She said with a wink, her eyes shining with mirth as Clark rolled her eyes, “I’m not going to die at the mention of Finn’s name every time” mumbled Raven before continuing with a small smirk that started spreading across her face “besides, I’m over him.”

“I wonder why,” chuckled Clarke, “Must have something to do with a certain person by the name of An –”  
“Nothing is going on Griffin,” Raven rolled her eyes but let a full-blown smile break through her face. 

A year or so back when Clarke was dating Finn, it had turned out that Finn was cheating on her – well, more like Clarke was the other girl since Finn and Raven were dating for years. Clarke had started dating Finn for a few months, but even then, Lexa’s intuition was right towards him when she would tell him she felt it was wrong. They constantly argued but Clarke simply thought Lexa was overthinking it, and after a while she let it go. When Raven showed up one day to introduce herself to Clarke as the first girlfriend, they poured a few shots and bonded over the trash boyfriend they shared, but if Clarke was being honest with herself, it didn’t feel like it was over yet, she felt like they ended too abruptly, missing the closure of a relationship she’d come to first and finally enjoy since her previous ex before him. Clarke and Raven had been best friends ever since. The older girl was a joy to be around.

“Come on Reyes, let’s go to sleep.” Clarke stood as the last few people were making their way out and started towards the door to her house, her body aching for a shower and a long sleep.

“I’m taking your bed by the way,” yelled Raven as she ran past her into the house with a laugh as she heard Clarke groan into the night about having back problems at such a young age.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fools

Lexa woke the next morning and sighed deeply remembering she forgot to change her drapes, the light emanating from the sun was too damn bright. Not today Satan, she thought as she pulled the covers over her head. She pulled her phone from under the pillow and scanned through her messages.

**Clarke: Lex, I’m going over today. I’m bringing food.**

Lexa smiled knowing this is how Clarke always apologized after their fights, with food. THANK GOD, she groaned. She went straight to bed after coming home last night and hadn’t ate anything prior to arriving at Clarke’s house. She jumped out of her bed to her drawers and pulled out a plain white tee shirt, and sweats along with some fresh underwear and bra. After a quick shower, she threw herself back onto her bed and shot a text at Clarke saying she was awake.

She went down to the living room and saw Anya sitting down drinking a beer. Lexa paused and Anya made eye contact with her before smirking. “Is it not too early for you to be drinking? You know I don’t think Reyes is into alcoholics.” She plopped down next to her and threw her legs across Anya’s lap.

“I see you’re wearing your traditional ‘My girlfriend and I fought but she’s coming over to make it up with food and hopefully sex’ look.” quipped Anya knowing damn well Lexa got in a mood whenever this topic came up. “Honestly, you two should just date.”

Lexa stood up abruptly and started walking towards the kitchen to pour herself some water, “Clarke is my friend. Why are you so insistent on it being more?” she groaned slightly, “I can’t do that to Clarke. I wouldn’t... I wouldn’t be good enough for her really.”

Anya decided then that she wouldn’t be a sarcastic little shit, the soft tone in Lexa saying that last statement resonated deeply within her for some reason. Anya always felt like Clarke and Lexa were going to date eventually. They practically acted like a couple despite Lexa liking this whole no strings attached charade and Clarke dating that atom boy. 

_Fools_ , she thought.

“So how are things with Costia?” asked Anya with slight hesitance. 

“Well, the usual, you know she only comes to me when she needs something.” Her nonchalant attitude irritated Anya when it came to Costia. Lexa walked back to the couch and sat down next to Anya. “I don’t know why I try honestly.” 

“I don’t know why you try either I mean how many times have Clarke and I smacked you for being such a dumbass.” Anya mumbled under her breath as she smacked Lexa’s arm.

Costia and Lexa have had a thing for quite a while now. They met when Lexa was in 10th grade and Costia was in 9th. Lexa could’ve sworn it was attraction at first sight when she accidently sat on her table in lunch. Soon after, she realized she had her on social media and that ‘thing’ they had going on blossomed ever since that first message. The only problem was that she had always led Lexa on. Anya was there when she broke Lexa’s heart after refusing to officially give themselves a chance and chose another boy to date. Ever since, Costia weaves herself in and out of Lexa’s life, always making her feel used whether it was for sex or being a last resort type of ‘friend’. Anya knew Lexa loved her, but she couldn’t force her to drop her, she had to figure it out on her own. 

_That bitch_ , thought Anya.

“Mm, yes well,” Lexa stood abruptly again and gave a slight nod, “when Clarke arrives send her to my quarters. I shall be expecting her.” Lexa started heading upstairs towards her room, but not before hearing Anya mutter to herself. Something along the lines of _it’s the 21st century who the fuck says quarters._

 

About 30 minutes later Clarke pulled up to the front of Lexa’s house. The lavish looking Mediterranean-style house looked like it had an entire family in it but it was only Anya and Lexa. She remembered the first time she came over how she expected to meet her whole family and instead came face to face with the spawn of Satan, otherwise known as Anya, well more like the spawns’ significant other since raven was the spawn of Satan with her evil antics. The first time she came over was the first-time Lexa had been honest with her about her family. About how they hadn’t accepted her sexuality and although they didn’t disown her, they simply didn’t want any of ‘that shit’ in their house so they allowed her to move out with Anya, who was a few years older but nevertheless someone special and important to Lexa.

Clarke parked inside the driveway and pulled out her keys to unlock Lexa’s door. (They were that close.) Grabbing the food bags, she got out of her white civic and unlocked the door but before she pushed it open Anya had opened it and jumped at Clarke’s sudden appearance. 

“Jesus fuck, I don’t know why I agreed to giving you a key. You almost gave me a heart attack!” Anya placed a palm over where her heart was supposed to be at, feigning pain and gave a long sigh, “Its hideous.”

“I’m surprised you even have a heart. I’ll have you know though-” she stepped in and leaned into Anya’s ear as she passed by her, “Everyone thinks I’m hot.” She laughed as Anya faked a gag before shutting the door behind her.

Clarke walked into to Lexa’s room and immediately frowned at just how bright it was in there knowing Lexa like things a little darker colored. She placed the bag of food on the desk next to Lexa’s bed before throwing herself on top of the covers, where Lexa was happily laying under, that is until Clarke decided to jump on her and elbow the fuck out of her ribs.

Lexa groaned and pulled off the covers to see the blonde-haired girl with a smile, leaning onto an arm as she looked down at her. Lexa pushed her off and rolled onto her, the blanket becoming a barrier in between them still. Their backs touching one another as the back of Lexa’s head pushed Lexa’s face into the covers. “Food.”

“Chinese. On the desk. OFF PLEASE I am lying face down Lex, my beautiful face is covered.”

“Who is suffocating now Clarke kom Shithead,” Lexa jumped off her and walked to the desk to grab her tray of food. “You abandoned me, Clarke. I am not entirely sure food will make up for it this time.” Lexa grabbed Clarkes food and gave it to her but didn’t sit next to her. She stood there just looking at her before Clarke grabbed the food and put it aside to pull lexa down into an awkward side hug on her bed. 

“I love you” Clarke pouted, trying to get Lexa in a good mood. 

Lexa wiggled herself out of it and focused on her food. She frowned slightly when she saw it flipped over due to Clarke abruptly pulling her into a hug. “Love?” she flipped over the food, thankfully it was still closed. “That is weakness, you won’t buy me that way,” Said Lexa as Clarke replied with a soft scoff.

They opened their food trays and began digging in. The smell of Chinese food overpowered Lexa’s flowery smell and Lexa scrunched up her nose as she ate. She made a mental note to add new flowers and air out her room later. 

“So,” Clarke blurted out as she chewed her food, “I’m dating Atom. But I think you know that already. But there’s something I want to talk to you about”. She swallowed before continuing, mentally preparing herself for what was about to be said. “Finn messaged me.”

Lexa dropped her chopsticks and closed her food before setting it aside, her hunger suddenly gone as the irritation pumped into her veins. She let out the world’s longest sigh knowing this could go two ways, one being Clarke and her ignoring one another for a few days. She turned to face her, her apathetic tone giving away none of the anger she felt at Clarke for even bothering with Finn. “And?”

Clarke looked away before looking back, “He misses me.”

“Clarke,” Lexa’s sudden soft tone gave Clarke a minor whiplash, she expected Lexa to go off on her.  
“Tell me you are not considering doing what you’re thinking about.”

“I never got closure Lex-” She cut herself off when lexa started shaking her head.

“I know it hurts Clarke, and really I am the last to speak since I deal with Costia, but I can’t let you do the same to yourself. You deserve so much more; I am 20 times more team Atom than team Finn.” she huffed in annoyance knowing exactly what Clarke was thinking. It was scary how well she could read the girl.

“Well you’re a dumbass for still dealing with Costia, she uses you all the time!” Clarke pushed herself onto her knees to face Lexa. “You’re hurting yourself every time you go to her, don’t sit there and give me shit for having a part of me that wants closure while you’re still there letting her use you like that!”

Lexa flushed with anger and looked away from Clarkes azure blue eyes, jaw clenching. “That is different Clarke, I allow her the privilege of having me between her legs, just like I would any other girl. It means nothing to me.”

“I might be a hypocrite Lexa but you’re a liar,” she hissed softly at her. Lexa’s piercing green eyes were suddenly on her, and Clarke just shook her head, blowing out a sigh. “I see right through you. Always.” Clarke held eye contact before reaching towards Lexa’s hand that was now clenching in between her crisscrossed legs, her knuckles white. Clarke wriggled her fingers in between Lexa’s to lace their hands together. “I know you. I know why you do everything you do.”

Lexa loosened her grip and allowed her fingers to lace with Clarkes. Clarke did always have the power to see through Lexa’s façade. She intenerated Lexa’s entire being really. 

“I do not wish for you to get hurt.” Lexa paused, “YOU deserve better.” 

She pulled the blonde-haired girl to her side as she fell backwards so they could both be laying down. Clarke wrapped an arm around Lexa’s waist as Lexa wrapped one around her neck pulling her in. 

Clarke nuzzled into the crevice of her shoulder before deciding to speak again. “I’m sorry. I know you are right but, I don’t know what I need right now.” She looked up to find Lexa staring at the ceiling, her jaw slightly clenched. 

Lexa swallowed whatever anger she was feeling before looking down to Clarke and giving her a soft smile. “I don’t condone whatever you wish to do with Finn, I don’t accept it really.” She paused, assessing Clarkes reaction before continuing, “But I’ll always be by your side, no matter what happens.”

And that was true. Lexa knew it in her soul, sure she allowed people to use her but for the most part it meant nothing. Clarke though, Clarke would always have lexa. Even if she didn’t want her anymore, if she ever got a call saying Clarke needed a kidney or a lung, hell, Lexa wouldn’t hesitate. Clarke deserved everything. 

It did not however, alleviate the worry of Clarke getting hurt and this ending bad.


	3. 3

The next few days were quite uneventful. Things with Atom were relatively decent, but they didn’t have that spark either. It had been a few months since they started dating, but Clarke couldn’t help but feel like her feelings were not as strong as they could be. She blamed it on Finn, their ending too abrupt that she felt closure was what she needed. She liked atom, he was sweet, and she knew she had feelings but Finn was still on her mind ever since he messaged her. 

Finn and her dated twice, the first time went good. She was happy, but they broke up after her trip to Canada when she went to visit some family up north. It was then when she came back that Raven had showed up at her house to reveal that Clarke was the second girlfriend. They poured up some drinks and cried over their shit boyfriend. A month or two later, Finn and Clarke dated again, with raven telling her it was okay. This time however ended bad. Finn broke up with her telling her he just didn’t want her anymore after being constantly ignored. Threw her away, like nothing. 

Clarke sighed as she reread Finns message from last week. She knew she shouldn’t involve herself with him, knew he would hurt her again, knew that it would hurt Raven and Lexa. Lexa hadn’t brought up the whole Finn situation ever since their discussion that night, she knew the girl was going to let her do as she pleased and would try to not give her shit about it no matter how much Lexa just despised the boy.

Clarke decided she needed someone to talk to. She messaged the delinquents (They were always in a group chat, always) and told them to bring drinks and food for a gathering later that night She didn’t want to involve Lexa for the gathering given they would discuss Finn. 

****

****

***Delinquents chat***

****

****

****

Clarke: Drinks tonight? (12:01PM)

****

****

****

Raven: In. Maybe, if my plans are canceled ;) (12:03PM)

****

****

****

O: Linc and I are in, we’ll bring a few drinks (12:03PM)

****

****

****

Jas: Monty and I shall prepare your favorite concoction ;) (12:04PM)

****

****

****

Raven: Oh, god no, the last time we drank that I had a headache for a week. (12:05PM)

****

****

****

Monty: Watch you still drink some later tonight hahaha (12:06PM)

****

****

****

Raven: Btw, can Luna come? She has no type of plans tonight and wants to get shitfaced. Apparently she had fun last time. (12:06PM)

****

****

****

Clarke: Yeah idc, need to speak with you and O, but I think I might just need Jasper and Monty’s moonshine to drown in after what I gotta talk to you guys about. (12:07PM)

****

****

****

O: oh, Clarke, this’ll be good. we’ll bring some goodies as well. (12:08PM)

****

****

****

Raven: Is Lex going? (12:08PM)

****

****

****

Clarke: Mm, maybe after what I must talk to you guys about. I have a few things to do come by after 6 guys. (12:09PM)

****

****

****

Clarke put her phone on silent knowing the conversation would continue without her, and jumped out of her bed to shower. After putting on some clothes, she grabbed her keys and headed out to the store to prepare for tonight’s gathering. 

****

The supermarket was packed as hell. Clarke was pushing the cart in front of her trying to look for the shortest line when Clarke saw a brunette-haired girl out of the corner of her eye. She turned to see Costia walking towards her, a wide smile spreading slowly over her face.

****

Costia tilted her head slightly, “Clarke, what a surprise. I haven’t seen you since-”

****

“Since I caught you with groping my best friend? yeah it’s been a while” Clarke through her a sarcastic tight smile. 

****

Costia chuckled. _This bitch thinks I’m playing_ , thought Clarke but decided to keep quiet.

****

“Yes, she was quite enjoying that, that day. She enjoyed it last night too.” The haughtiness did not go unnoticed and Clarke bristled at that. “You should see the marks on my body, that girl is wild-”

****

Bitch. “What are you doing with her Costia. She isn’t a toy to play with.” Deadpanned Clarke. Costia always messed with Lexa’s head and Clarke was sick of it. She couldn’t help but notice how right Lexa was about how similar situations Costia and Finn might be. Except Costia is so far, the only girl Lexa has had feelings for so far. 

****

“You know, I do care for her.”

****

Clarke scoffed and began to march away, feeling anger overtake her body. “Yeah you have a funny way of showing it.”. She made her way into the shortest line, pulled out her phone and shot a text at Lexa.

****

**Clarke: WHERE ARE YOU .(1:20PM)**

****

**Lexa: Good afternoon Clarke. I have missed you too, I am quite well, how about you?(1:24pm)**

****

**Clarke: Alexandria Allison Woods . (1:24pm)**

****

**Lexa: space THEN period? Is my bestie in a grumpy mood today? Poor bby (1:25pm)**

****

**Clarke: I’m on my way. (1:25PM)**

****

Clarke shut off her phone and began making her way to her car. She threw the goods in the back of her car, seething from Costia’s audacity at throwing lexa in her face the way she did. 15 minutes later she pulled into Lexa’s driveway. 

****

Making her way to the front door, she noticed it was unlocked and stepped right in to find Lexa lounging around in a pair of shorts and a loose t shirt, her shirt showing her clavicles that were clearly bruised from her events with Costia. She stood and walked over to Clarke, noticing how she eyed the bruises Lexa cleared her throat and subtly pulled the shirt up.

****

“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled, suddenly feeling self-conscious. 

****

“Woods. What the hell.” She walked past Lexa towards the brown couch in the living room. 

****

Lexa groaned already knowing this could turn into a lecture and followed her, as she pushed down to sit on the couch. She leaned in to pull Clarke down by her hand so they could be facing one another on the couch. “What happened, Clarke?”

****

“I ran into stupid Costia. You were with her last night,” It wasn’t a question. She eyed the hickey that was slightly showing on Lexa’s clavicle, “CLEARLY.”

****

“She needed someone Clarke, I was being a friend.” Lexa flipped over to lay herself down, plopping her head onto Clarke’s thighs. Clarkes left fingers automatically went to Lexa’s hair and started playing with it, running them through Lexa’s soft chestnut hair. Lexa hummed in approval as she shut her eyes.

****

“We have this conversation all the time, Lex. But-”

****

“But nothing, Clarke, I feel nothing for her. I love her yes, but I am not in love anymore.”

****

“Can you believe she said she cared for you? I care and love you but I don’t use you for sex or your friendship.” Clarke pressed her lips together in annoyance when she heard Lexa chuckle slightly at her best friend’s anger.

****

“You can totally use me anytime Clarke.” she smirked, one eye opening to squint up at Clarke who was staring down at her, brows knitted in a frown, clearly frustrated over Lexa’s choice of words in her attempt at levity. “Let’s face it, everyone knows you want me anyways.”

****

Clarke cocked an eyebrow as an enigmatic smile slowly started spreading over her face.

****

“Woods, you wouldn’t be able to handle this. Let’s be realistic,” She leaned down bringing her lips close to one of Lexa’s ears, her warm breath sending shivers down Lexa’s body. “You’re the one who wouldn’t be able to resist me.” Clarke threw her head back in light laughter, her fingers still tangled in Lexa’s hair.

****

The front door opened and Anya walked in with Raven trudging behind. Anya swore and pulled out her wallet to give Raven five dollars.

****

Lexa rolled her eyes, trying to calm her heartbeat. Though they had been friends for a year or so, she just didn’t wanna ruin their friendship Aside from Anya and Lincoln, Clarke was the other person she really had in her life.

****

Clarke laughed and eyed Raven, not even surprised that she is here. Anya and Raven have been having there hing for a while, they just apparently didn’t put a label on it. “Reyes, we didn’t kiss!” shouted Clarke, “give Anya back her five.”

****

Raven walked towards them and perched herself on top of lexa, who groaned and pushed her off so she could stand. “What a friend, Griffin. I could have been five dollar richer.”

****

Lexa left them there to bicker and made her way to the kitchen table where Anya was sitting just watching them. 

****

“I thought you’d be gone doing Costia again or something.” Anya’s nose wrinkled. “She’s hot but really Lex.”

****

“Though I find her presence sexually pleasurable, I am not one to spend my nights with people Anya,” She peered back to find Clarke and Raven in deep conversation. Ravens brow furrowed but nodding slowly at Clarke who was looking at her with such sadness and what was that… nervousness? Raven gave her a small smile before saying something that made Clarke throw her head back in laughter. Lexa turned back to Anya to find her staring at Lexa, a look of curiosity on her face.

****

“What?” Lexa intoned.

****

Anya raised a sly eyebrow and smirked. “Look I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got better stuff to do right now.” She rose from her chair, stretching. “I expect you to not be home, go do something that doesn’t involve Costia. Maybe Clarke.” 

****

Lexa’s eyes were rolling backwards as they walked towards Raven and Clarke. 

****

“I’m stuff.” Raven stood, taking Anya’s arm as they made their way upstairs into Anya’s room. Clarke faked a gag before pulling Lexa up the stairs into her room. Both extremely thankful that Lexa’s room was opposite of Anya’s on the other side of the house.

****

“And they continue saying nothing is going on,” Clarke muttered under her breath.

****

Clarke flung herself onto Lexa’s neatly fixed bed and exhaled at its comfiness. Clarke’s bed was definitely not as comfortable as Lexa’s, but Lexa’s room was too immaculate for Clarke. While Lexa had navy blue bedsheets, along with a desk in the corner towered with a few books, Clarke had clothes all over her room along with a few paintbrushes and splatter marks. 

****

“Get dressed, we have another gathering tonight with the delinquents.” She felt Lexa crawl into the bed and plop down next to her, her face pushed down into the bed as she let out a muffled groan.

****

“Why can’t I just stay in bed. School does not start until another few weeks Clarke, let me live.” 

****

“Alexandria get your ass up.” Clarke leaned in to poke Lexa’s ribs. Lexa jumped straight out of bed to head towards her closet.

****

“Fine.” She scowled, searching for an outfit. She found a tight charcoal shirt and some black jeans to match with it. Pulling her clothes off, she chanced a glance at Clarke who was eyeing her chest with such disdain.

****

“Either you like what you see and are jealous that you can’t touch or you’re jealous these marks aren’t your own doing,” she smirked, pulling her jeans on now.

****

“Or I hate the fact that those marks were caused for such wrong reasons by some bitch.” Clarke jeered, shaking her head in disapproval.

****

“Good, then you know what it is I feel when it comes to Finn.” The comment wasn’t too loud but it was loud enough for Clarke to react. 

****

Clarke bristled at the comment as Lexa walked out of the closet with her leather jacket in hand. Noticing the reaction of her comment, Lexa instantly chastised herself and walked over to Clarke who was instantly on her feet about to head out.

****

“Clarke wait,” Lexa pleaded, pulling her arms so she could turn her body to face her. “I’m sorry. I should not guilt trip you like that.” 

****

Clarke shook her head and gave her a small smile, “We are never gonna get passed this if we keep this up.” She took a step closer to Lexa and looked into her verdant eyes. “Trust me?”

****

Lexa hesitated briefly before leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Come on Griffin, we have a gathering to get to.”

****

Lexa grabbed her keys and wallet and started heading out her room door, grabbing Clarke’s hand along the way to head towards the car. Right as they were walking down the stairs, Raven just so happened to let out a long moan that resonated from down the hallway.

****

“Oh that is just –” Lexa started before Clarke pulled her arm roughly into a run down the stairs. They were out the door, laughing their guts out before they could hear the next moan.

****

 

****

They arrived to Clarke’s place 15 minutes later. They pulled into the driveway and walked towards the door.

****

“I see your mother is not home.” Lexa commented, “Is she working again?”

****

“yeah, she’s pulling a double shift but I think she’s sleeping over at Kane’s” Clarke shuddered slightly, “Thank god. Last time it took me over a week to be able to face the after that noise I heard.”

****

Lexa chuckled slightly at that remembering when Clarke called her around one in the morning asking if she could go over and sleep there. The girl was in absolute terror. Lexa had thought something bad happened. She really did sleep there for a week before Clarke was forced to face her mom and her boyfriend Kane since it was the holidays. Thankfully, Lexa had spent it with Clarke since her parents were in Tokyo for a few business meetings. 

****

They made their way into Clarkes room and Clarke went straight to her closet to look for clothes. Lexa stepped over a few clothes that Clarke had forgotten on the floor and sat down on window seat that was next to Clarke’s easel and art supplies. She remembered when Clarke had brought her over and told her all about how when she was little she had always enjoyed the view from a window seat. She convinced her father Jake to remodel her room and add it when she was 12 before he passed away when she was 15. That was around the time Lexa and Clarke had met, it was a sensitive topic then but Lexa never pushed it. Over time, Clarke had opened more and more about her dad ever since.

****

Clarke jumped in the shower and Lexa decided to take a nap while he got ready. About 2 hours later, Clarke woke Lexa up by plopping herself on top of Lexa. “Up. People should be arriving soon.”

****

Lexa pulled herself up and sighed. Clarke was about to head out the door when she pulled out her phone to respond to a message, a small smirk evident on her face.

****

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Atom coming too?”

****

Clarke stiffened a bit before turning around to face Lexa who was all too aware of the slight rigidness at her comment. Clearly she wasn’t texting Atom, but Lexa wasn’t going to force that out of her.

****

“Um, no. I’ll see him tomorrow or something. He’s going out with his friends.” She said before turning to head out. 

****

Lexa just shook her head in disappointment, knowing exactly who she was texting before following after her.

****


	4. 4

The next few days were quite uneventful. Things with Atom were relatively decent, but they didn’t have that spark either. It had been a few months since they started dating, but Clarke couldn’t help but feel like her feelings were not as strong as they could be. She blamed it on Finn, their ending too abrupt that she felt closure was what she needed. She liked atom, he was sweet, and she knew she had feelings but Finn was still on her mind ever since he messaged her. 

Finn and her dated twice, the first time went good. She was happy, but they broke up after her trip to Canada when she went to visit some family up north. It was then when she came back that Raven had showed up at her house to reveal that Clarke was the second girlfriend. They poured up some drinks and cried over their shit boyfriend. A month or two later, Finn and Clarke dated again, with raven telling her it was okay. This time however ended bad. Finn broke up with her telling her he just didn’t want her anymore after being constantly ignored. Threw her away, like nothing. 

Clarke sighed as she reread Finns message from last week. She knew she shouldn’t involve herself with him, knew he would hurt her again, knew that it would hurt Raven and Lexa. Lexa hadn’t brought up the whole Finn situation ever since their discussion that night, she knew the girl was going to let her do as she pleased and would try to not give her shit about it no matter how much Lexa just despised the boy.

Clarke decided she needed someone to talk to. She messaged the delinquents (They were always in a group chat, always) and told them to bring drinks and food for a gathering later that night She didn’t want to involve Lexa for the gathering given they would discuss Finn. 

***Delinquents chat* ******

******Clarke: Drinks tonight? (12:01PM) ******** **

**********Raven: In. Maybe, if my plans are canceled ;) (12:03PM) ******** ** ** **

**************O: Linc and I are in, we’ll bring a few drinks (12:03PM) ******** ** ** ** ** **

******************Jas: Monty and I shall prepare your favorite concoction ;) (12:04PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**********************Raven: Oh, god no, the last time we drank that I had a headache for a week. (12:05PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************************Monty: Watch you still drink some later tonight hahaha (12:06PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************************Raven: Btw, can Luna come? She has no type of plans tonight and wants to get shitfaced (12:06PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**********************************Clarke: Yeah idc, need to speak with you and O, but I think I might just need Jasper and Monty’s moonshine to drown in after what I gotta talk to you guys about. (12:07PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************************************O: oh, Clarke, this’ll be good. we’ll bring some goodies as well. (12:08PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************************************Raven: Is Lex going? (12:08PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************************************** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************Clarke put her phone on silent knowing the conversation would continue without her, and jumped out of her bed to shower. After putting on some clothes, she grabbed her keys and headed out to the store to prepare for tonight’s gathering.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************The supermarket was packed as hell. Clarke was pushing the cart in front of her trying to look for the shortest line when Clarke saw a brunette-haired girl out of the corner of her eye. She turned to see Costia walking towards her, a wide smile spreading slowly over her face.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************Costia tilted her head slightly, “Clarke, what a surprise. I haven’t seen you since-”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************“Since I caught you with groping my best friend? yeah it’s been a while” Clarke through her a sarcastic tight smile.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************Costia chuckled. _This bitch thinks I’m playing _, thought Clarke but decided to keep quiet.__** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__“Yes, she was quite enjoying that, that day. She enjoyed it last night too.” The haughtiness did not go unnoticed and Clarke bristled at that. “You should see the marks on my body, that girl is wild-”_ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__Bitch. “What are you doing with her Costia. She isn’t a toy to play with.” Deadpanned Clarke. Costia always messed with Lexa’s head and Clarke was sick of it. She couldn’t help but notice how right Lexa was about how similar situations Costia and Finn might be. Except Costia is so far, the only girl Lexa has had feelings for so far._ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__“You know, I do care for her.”_ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__Clarke scoffed and began to march away, feeling anger overtake her body. “Yeah you have a funny way of showing it.”. She made her way into the shortest line, pulled out her phone and shot a text at Lexa._ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__**Clarke: WHERE ARE YOU .(1:20PM) ******_ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__******Lexa: Good afternoon Clarke. I have missed you too, I am quite well, how about you?(1:24pm) ******** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__**********Clarke: Alexandria Allison Woods . (1:24pm) ******** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__**************Lexa: space THEN period? Is my bestie in a grumpy mood today? Poor bby (1:25pm) ******** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__******************Clarke: I’m on my way. (1:25PM) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke shut off her phone and began making her way to her car. She threw the goods in the back of her car, seething from Costia’s audacity at throwing lexa in her face the way she did. 15 minutes later she pulled into Lexa’s driveway.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Making her way to the front door, she noticed it was unlocked and stepped right in to find Lexa lounging around in a pair of shorts and a loose t shirt, her shirt showing her clavicles that were clearly bruised from her events with Costia. She stood and walked over to Clarke, noticing how she eyed the bruises Lexa cleared her throat and subtly pulled the shirt up.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled, suddenly feeling self-conscious.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Woods. What the hell.” She walked past Lexa towards the brown couch in the living room.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa groaned already knowing this could turn into a lecture and followed her, as she pushed down to sit on the couch. She leaned in to pull Clarke down by her hand so they could be facing one another on the couch. “What happened, Clarke?”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“I ran into stupid Costia. You were with her last night,” It wasn’t a question. She eyed the hickey that was slightly showing on Lexa’s clavicle, “CLEARLY.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“She needed someone Clarke, I was being a friend.” Lexa flipped over to lay herself down, plopping her head onto Clarke’s thighs. Clarkes left fingers automatically went to Lexa’s hair and started playing with it, running them through Lexa’s soft chestnut hair. Lexa hummed in approval as she shut her eyes.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“We have this conversation all the time, Lex. But-”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“But nothing, Clarke, I feel nothing for her. I love her yes, but I am not in love anymore.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Can you believe she said she cared for you? I care and love you but I don’t use you for sex or your friendship.” Clarke pressed her lips together in annoyance when she heard Lexa chuckle slightly at her best friend’s anger.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“You can totally use me anytime Clarke.” she smirked, one eye opening to squint up at Clarke who was staring down at her, brows knitted in a frown, clearly frustrated over Lexa’s choice of words in her attempt at levity. “Let’s face it, everyone knows you want me anyways.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke cocked an eyebrow as an enigmatic smile slowly started spreading over her face.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Woods, you wouldn’t be able to handle this. Let’s be realistic,” She leaned down bringing her lips close to one of Lexa’s ears, her warm breath sending shivers down Lexa’s body. “You’re the one who wouldn’t be able to resist me.” Clarke threw her head back in light laughter, her fingers still tangled in Lexa’s hair.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************The front door opened and Anya walked in with Raven trudging behind. Anya swore and pulled out her wallet to give Raven five dollars.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa rolled her eyes, trying to calm her heartbeat. Though they had been friends for a year or so, she just didn’t wanna ruin their friendship Aside from Anya and Lincoln, Clarke was the other person she really had in her life.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke laughed and eyed Raven, not even surprised that she is here. Anya and Raven have been having there hing for a while, they just apparently didn’t put a label on it. “Reyes, we didn’t kiss!” shouted Clarke, “give Anya back her five.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Raven walked towards them and perched herself on top of lexa, who groaned and pushed her off so she could stand. “What a friend, Griffin. I could have been five dollar richer.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa left them there to bicker and made her way to the kitchen table where Anya was sitting just watching them.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“I thought you’d be gone doing Costia again or something.” Anya’s nose wrinkled. “She’s hot but really Lex.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Though I find her presence sexually pleasurable, I am not one to spend my nights with people Anya,” She peered back to find Clarke and Raven in deep conversation. Ravens brow furrowed but nodding slowly at Clarke who was looking at her with such sadness and what was that… nervousness? Raven gave her a small smile before saying something that made Clarke throw her head back in laughter. Lexa turned back to Anya to find her staring at Lexa, a look of curiosity on her face.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“What?” Lexa intoned.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Anya raised a sly eyebrow and smirked. “Look I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got better stuff to do right now.” She rose from her chair, stretching. “I expect you to not be home, go do something that doesn’t involve Costia. Maybe Clarke.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa’s eyes were rolling backwards as they walked towards Raven and Clarke.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“I’m stuff.” Raven stood, taking Anya’s arm as they made their way upstairs into Anya’s room. Clarke faked a gag before pulling Lexa up the stairs into her room. Both extremely thankful that Lexa’s room was opposite of Anya’s on the other side of the house.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“And they continue saying nothing is going on,” Clarke muttered under her breath.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke flung herself onto Lexa’s neatly fixed bed and exhaled at its comfiness. Clarke’s bed was definitely not as comfortable as Lexa’s, but Lexa’s room was too immaculate for Clarke. While Lexa had navy blue bedsheets, along with a desk in the corner towered with a few books, Clarke had clothes all over her room along with a few paintbrushes and splatter marks.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Get dressed, we have another gathering tonight with the delinquents.” She felt Lexa crawl into the bed and plop down next to her, her face pushed down into the bed as she let out a muffled groan.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Why can’t I just stay in bed. School does not start until another few weeks Clarke, let me live.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Alexandria get your ass up.” Clarke leaned in to poke Lexa’s ribs. Lexa jumped straight out of bed to head towards her closet.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Fine.” She scowled, searching for an outfit. She found a tight charcoal shirt and some black jeans to match with it. Pulling her clothes off, she chanced a glance at Clarke who was eyeing her chest with such disdain.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Either you like what you see and are jealous that you can’t touch or you’re jealous these marks aren’t your own doing,” she smirked, pulling her jeans on now.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Or I hate the fact that those marks were caused for such wrong reasons by some bitch.” Clarke jeered, shaking her head in disapproval.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Good, then you know what it is I feel when it comes to Finn.” The comment wasn’t too loud but it was loud enough for Clarke to react.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke bristled at the comment as Lexa walked out of the closet with her leather jacket in hand. Noticing the reaction of her comment, Lexa instantly chastised herself and walked over to Clarke who was instantly on her feet about to head out.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Clarke wait,” Lexa pleaded, pulling her arms so she could turn her body to face her. “I’m sorry. I should not guilt trip you like that.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke shook her head and gave her a small smile, “We are never gonna get passed this if we keep this up.” She took a step closer to Lexa and looked into her verdant eyes. “Trust me?”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa hesitated briefly before leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Come on Griffin, we have a gathering to get to.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa grabbed her keys and wallet and started heading out her room door, grabbing Clarke’s hand along the way to head towards the car. Right as they were walking down the stairs, Raven just so happened to let out a long moan that resonated from down the hallway.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Oh that is just –” Lexa started before Clarke pulled her arm roughly into a run down the stairs. They were out the door, laughing their guts out before they could hear the next moan.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__******************** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************They arrived to Clarke’s place 15 minutes later. They pulled into the driveway and walked towards the door.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“I see your mother is not home.” Lexa commented, “Is she working again?”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“yeah, she’s pulling a double shift but I think she’s sleeping over at Kane’s” Clarke shuddered slightly, “Thank god. Last time it took me over a week to be able to face the after that noise I heard.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa chuckled slightly at that remembering when Clarke called her around one in the morning asking if she could go over and sleep there. The girl was in absolute terror. Lexa had thought something bad happened. She really did sleep there for a week before Clarke was forced to face her mom and her boyfriend Kane since it was the holidays. Thankfully, Lexa had spent it with Clarke since her parents were in Tokyo for a few business meetings.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************They made their way into Clarkes room and Clarke went straight to her closet to look for clothes. Lexa stepped over a few clothes that Clarke had forgotten on the floor and sat down on window seat that was next to Clarke’s easel and art supplies. She remembered when Clarke had brought her over and told her all about how when she was little she had always enjoyed the view from a window seat. She convinced her father Jake to remodel her room and add it when she was 12 before he passed away when she was 15. That was around the time Lexa and Clarke had met, it was a sensitive topic then but Lexa never pushed it. Over time, Clarke had opened more and more about her dad ever since.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke jumped in the shower and Lexa decided to take a nap while he got ready. About 2 hours later, Clarke woke Lexa up by plopping herself on top of Lexa. “Up. People should be arriving soon.”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa pulled herself up and sighed. Clarke was about to head out the door when she pulled out her phone to respond to a message, a small smirk evident on her face.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa rolled her eyes. “Atom coming too?”** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Clarke stiffened a bit before turning around to face Lexa who was all too aware of the slight rigidness at her comment. Clearly she wasn’t texting Atom, but Lexa wasn’t going to force that out of her.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************“Um, no. I’ll see him tomorrow or something. He’s going out with his friends.” She said before turning to head out.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

********************************************__********************Lexa just shook her head in disappointment, knowing exactly who she was texting before following after her.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those still interested in this story, i am so sorry that i've been MIA! i've currently been dealing with some personal problems and it took a toll on me that i really didn't have any energy to do anything really. i even took two weeks off of work to just sulk haha! 
> 
> i've added a tag, basically there IS some cheating involved, however this is an AU, we all know canon clexa knew they were it from the start and wouldn't cheat, but these dummies have to find their way to one another so there are a few obstacles. i know some people aren't not into that kind of stuff so if you choose to not read i completely understand. for those who don't mind, CLEXA is endgame, but this is based on a true story. about 70% of the things that occur did actually happen.
> 
> anyways, here's a somewhat short chapter just to warm myself up into write again.

Lexa has never been much of a drinker, but once the alcohol was in her system, seeping into her blood cells, it was incredibly easy to let herself loose. 

It wasn't even midnight and she could feel herself becoming fuzzy and light. Monty's recipe was definitely getting to her. Lexa made her way over to the grassy part of Clarke's backyard and plopped herself down on the grass. The night was warm, and after a few hours of socializing with Clarke's friends, she could feel her energy starting to lower bit by bit. Sighing, Lexa scanned the few people in front of her to look for Clarke when a body suddenly sat next to her. 

Lexa turned to see a brown haired girl sitting next to her, eyes shining with mirth and a small smirk playing on her lips. 

"Hey stranger, nice seeing you again." The girl nudged her. Lexa couldn't remember her name but didn't want to offend her, so she smiled back before looking back to the crowd. 

"Mm, yes. It is nice. What brings you to Clarke's gathering?" 

"You."

Lexa's head snapped at that as she locked eye contact with the girl. The girl chanced a quick glance at the people before leaning into Lexa, whose lips slightly parted just as their lips met.

The kiss was quick and soft, but Lexa suddenly felt a hand on her inner thigh and the kiss instantly heated up. Lexa's legs parted slightly and the girl moved in to cup her from the outside of her jeans, pressing into her slightly as Lexa let out a small moan. Lexa stopped herself, remembering the only thing hiding her was the night sky and the music playing in the background. 

The sudden loss of the girls hand caused Lexa to open her eyes and she pulled back from the kiss. Looking into her brown eyes, Lexa was about to tell her to leave with her, when Clarke was suddenly in front of her, cheeks slightly red from the dancing and a red cup in hand. 

"Luna, I see you've met Lexa." Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa, who's slightly flushed appearance gave away as much. 

"Yes, we met last time. I just happened to meet her again today." Luna smiled before pulling herself up and looking at Lexa. "I'm gonna go get a drink, want one?"

Lexa shook her head and thanked her. Luna nodded and made her way to the mini bar where Raven enveloped her into a hug as she shoved a beer into her hands.

Lexa looked up at Clarke who had her eyes trained on Lexa. Sighing, Lexa reached up to Clarke's hand and pulled her down, settling her between Lexa's legs. She had one leg in back of Clarke so she could use that as support to lean back, and the other across from her lap. 

"Lexa," Clarke took a drink before settling it down. "did you hook up with her?"

Lexa hummed as she played with Clarke's pink purple and blue bracelet. 

Clarke shook her head. "Lexa, you can't. Luna has a girlfriend" 

Lexa stilled for just a second as she took in what she just heard. She had never in her life, knowingly slept with anyone who was in a relationship nor would she ever cheat on anyone. Sure, Lexa enjoyed having no strings attached, but she had never stopped to that level. She knows she wouldn't like it if it happened to her, but then again.. Luna never said anything. Could she really be blamed for that?

"I didn't know." Lexa sighed, "I wouldn't have done it if I knew, Clarke. But I did, and I can't take it back."

"Don't be. Luna, I love her but it's not the first time she tells me of her infidelities." Clarke paused briefly, as if taking in the words she just said. "She is just incapable of commitment but to each their own." She shrugged.

"God, I've never been a side girl before. the side girl culture isn't something to be glorified, but i can't deny the thought of sneaking around and doing things i'm not supposed to is kind of hot" Lexa chuckled, but stopped when she felt Clarke stiffening up a little. "Okay, what gives. What do you need to tell me."

"I want to hook up with Finn." 

Lexa paused, before pulling back to look at Clarke who was clearly trying to avoid her eyes. Lexa grabbed her chin, and softly turned her so they could make eye contact. 

Clarke looked tired, with slightly dark eye bags under her eyes. Her shifts at the hospital clearly taking a small toll on her or maybe it was the fact that a certain dipshit was messing with her head. Clarke wasn't this type of person. She was strong, and sweet and she deserved so much more. But Lexa felt like a slight hypocrite for what she was about to rant about. That was different though right? 

"Clarke, you can't." How Lexa managed to say those first words after what Clarke just said, without the anger permeating, she was not sure. 

"I know, but - "

"But nothing. This is Finn we're talking about, FINN. You're willing to cheat, for a cheater? Not just that but he treated you like garbage after that whole ordeal Clarke, no, I don't approve."

"I know, I already talked to Raven about this and - "

"Seriously? God" Lexa shook her head. The fuzziness of the liquor was long gone now, so she leaned over and grabbed Clarke's cup to chug it down. 

Clarke sighed, knowing full on this was gonna end with them ignoring each other. The topic of Finn is something that has always been a problem between Clarke and Lexa. 

"How is this any different from you sleeping with Luna?" 

"That's different and you know it is. I have no history with Luna, nor do I know her girlfriend. And whether I do or don't sleep with her, there are no feelings involved whereas you are harming yourself by resorting to him." 

"Oh and you sleeping with Luna or Costia isn't harming yourself?" Clarke turned to see who had heard when she felt herself say that a little louder than they had been conversing when Raven and Monty glanced at Clarke briefly before looking away. Clarke's chastised herself before glancing back at Lexa who had stiffened at Clarke's remark. 

Lexa had not broken eye contact with Clarke once she had turned back to look at Lexa. The intensity of the situation felt heavy in the air, but Lexa wasn't about to make Clarke feel like she was in any way okay with this whole situation. Lexa leaned back a little, and Clarke's blue eyes widened a little, a small frown playing at her lips. She knew Lexa too well at this point. 

Lexa was distancing herself, detaching herself from the situation, she had done it multiple times throughout the course of their friendship. It's only been about 2 years, but Clarke knew her. Knew her like the back of her hand. Lexa detaching herself from the situation, attempting to not care when she cared so very deeply, was a defense mechanism. It was times like these that scared Clarke, with how easy it was for her best friend to become so cold and calculative and extra formal when mad or hurt.

"I'm not gonna sit here, and watch you let him do you dirty again." Lexa's velvety voice was cold, and her green eyes were almost piercing Clarke's soul. 

Lexa pushed off of Clarke and stood, patting down her jeans to remove any grass before looking back down at Clarke who remained on the ground, eyes trained on the grass. 

Lexa waited, until Clarke slowly met her eyes. "I've always supported you, you know i'd die for you, i'll be the first one to donate a kidney if you needed it," Lexa paused, considering her words knowing it was going to sound slightly harsh. "But you don't have my support on this, I don't want to know about it. I don't want to hear about it. If your other friends support you, fine. But I don't, Clarke." 

Clarke made no movement before giving her a slight nod, and Lexa walked away and started heading out but paused when she felt Clarke pull her back and turn her to wrap her arms around her neck. "Please don't drive, you drank."

Lexa nodded against her, wrapping one arm around her briefly, clearly making it known by the lack of effort into the hug that she was angry, before letting go and walking away without looking at Clarke. Lexa lived only a few blocks down anyway, she'd walk for Clarke's sake. 

Just as she was out the gate, Raven called out for her and linked her arm around Lexa's arm. Lexa felt herself go slightly rigged, but loosened up knowing she could trust Raven. 

They made their way towards Lexa's place, a comfortable silence fell between them. It was dark, and the sky was clear with every star visible. It always gave Lexa comfort, looking at the sky, day or night. Lexa loved losing herself in the clouds. It was definitely under appreciated. 

Lexa sighed softly, and tightened her hold on Ravens linked arm. It wasn't the first time Raven had left with her to her house, sure she had a thing with Anya, but there was a genuine friendship between Lexa and Raven. It was moments like these, in silence, that Lexa really appreciated her. Raven didn't know her as well as Clarke did, but she had an understanding of Lexa. Clearly she must have witnessed her discussion with Clarke and was letting her initiate conversation if she needed it but truthfully, there was nothing more she wanted right now, than a nice warm shower and the warm comfort of her bed.

********************************************  
Morning could have waited. Lexa groaned at the sunlight filtering in through the shades and pulled the covers over her head, or at least she attempted to when she realized she couldn't move the covers because there was a body next to her on them, making it difficult to do so. 

Raven groaned at the sudden movement, before Lexa started pushing her to wake her up. 

"Move, Reyes"

Without moving much, Raven kept her face eyes closed against the bed, her left hand reaching over to poke Lexa's face continuously. "Where's the damn snooze button" She mumbled into the covers.

Lexa stood up and made her way to the restroom to brush her teeth. Grabbing an extra toothbrush from the sink, she made her way back to her room. "Here," she threw it at Raven before continuing, "I'm gonna go eat cereal. I'll serve you a plate. You have 5 minutes."

Raven groaned again as she pulled herself up. "Can't a woman get her beauty sleep, Jesus." 

Lexa chuckled and made her way downstairs to pour cereal into two plates. Settling them on the kitchen table, Lexa sat down and pulled out her phone to check for messages. 

"Griffin text you yet?" Raven said as she made her way to where her plate was. 

Lexa shook her head and put her phone away."Clarke and I will probably not speak to one another for a few days."

Raven hummed and took a bite of cereal.  
"So she told you."

"Tell me you're not okay with this, Reyes."

"Clarke is my best friend too, I support her and i'll be there for her no matter what."

Lexa scoffed, "This is FINN we are talking about Raven, how could you be okay with this."

"I am no one to judge a person by their actions" sighed Raven, "even if i am a victim of said actions. She was fooled, I don't blame her for feeling confused about Finn. I had my closure from that relationship, if she needs this then so be it."

"I am not judging her, i would never i'm the last person that should be judging really-"

"Ain't that the truth" Raven smirked, "I saw your little moment with Luna."

Lexa looked away, feeling her face burn at being caught."I didn't know she had a girlfriend."

Raven laughed before continuing eating. Another comfortable silence fell between them before Lexa spoke up again.

"I am gonna be there for her." Her voice softened, knowing she could never really abandon Clarke. "I'm her best friend too, I'm gonna be there for her I just don't want to contribute to her pain by encouraging her to do this."

Raven nodded and gave her a soft smile. "I felt a little weird too when she told me, but i'm thankful she did. She's a good person. If she feels like she needs this, like i said, so be it. I'm gonna be there too."

"I just don't wanna see her get hurt. I hurt when she's hurt."

"You are so gay."

Lexa laughed as she grabbed a fruit loop from her bowl and threw it at her.


End file.
